I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize