So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
