i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
