So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My balls are so social today.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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