Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
