once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
