The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
there is glitter all over my balls
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