He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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