Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
