Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just cropdusted the office
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
