I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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