i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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