Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I deserve this hangover.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
