Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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