I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
