You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
