Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
