My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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