I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
