Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I need a beard to bite.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
