I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
