PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
