I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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