I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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