You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
