this beer tastes like vomit already
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
