So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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