you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All I want is dick and wine.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
