Your favorite bartender is back from prision
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
