Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
