He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
