I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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