Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
