U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have post one night stand depression
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