I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
