nut hugger
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
