sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
