I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
