i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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