Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I bet he comes in French.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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