WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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