You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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