He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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