There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Found your dick twin last night
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
