omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
