And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
