Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
