i just sent this text using only my big toe
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Found the puke drawer
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
