He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
