We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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